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Thursday, September 12, 2013

Straight Ca$h Homey 2013: Week 3

This week is Game of the Century 2 as the Crimson Tide stroll into Aggieland. Buckeyes head to Berkley and the new LA football school heads into the Big Red. Week 3 is upon us. Here. We. Go.

7Louisville -14 at Kentucky
12:00 ESPN
$$ Kentucky couldn't handle Petrino, his motorcycle or the Hilltoppers. Teddy B is gonna turn off the lights at Commonwealth Stadium and light a candle for the souls of the Wildcats.
AGREE. The Cardinals and two touchdowns against a Kentucky team that lost to WKU?? UK supposedly has great guys coming up. However, they do not have great guys right now, and Louisville has beaten their ass the last few years. Bridgewater will score touchdowns at will and even if it gets within 7 or 10 late, Louisville can and will score. Cardinals roll early.

16UCLA +4.5 at 23 Nebraska
12:00 ABC
UCLA players lost a teammate this week when he got hit by a car. Their emotions won't let them lose to Taylor Martinez's shotputs.
AGREE. Nebraska gave up 600 yards to Wyoming, and UCLA is LA’s football team. I was expecting for UCLA to be favored, and to be getting more than a field goal, I’ll take this all damn day. The only question will be can UCLA stop the Huskers enough to maintain a lead. I do hate those tricky 10am games for the beach brahs (or is it 11…no clue what time zone Nebraska is in but they’re in daylight savings time year ‘round due to THE WHOLE STATE BEING FARMERS STILL right?)
Texas A&M + 7.5 vs Alabama
3:30 CBS
Since Saban took over at Bama, LSU is the only team to beat him two years in a row. The second year also resulted in Bama making LSU give up the sticks in the National Title Game. I think Bama wins, but their offense looked too bad against VaTech for me to think they'll win this by more than a score.
1Bama -7.5 The 6th ranked team with a huge home crowd shouldn’t be more than a touchdown ‘dog, but that’s where we are. There are a few reasons why I like Alabama in this one. During the second half of last year’s game, Alabama came back and held TAMU in check, hence adjustments. Alabama is also pissed and not looking at TAMU as this Big 12 team that doesn’t belong in OUR conference. Saban draws up a blueprint to stop the spread with his guys, disguising between man and zone and what the read ends are doing to confuse the hell out of Johnathan. He will make plays because he can’t not make plays, but when they are in 2nd and 3rd and long, and Johnny can’t read the coverage and he stars to take off, Alabama will be ready. Over 7 is HUGE, but when Bama is ready, look out. Also some fun facts: Saban is 15-2 when facing a team he lost to the previous season. Last year’s Texas A&M game came a week after their thrilling comeback win over LSU. This year they are coming off a bye. Saban don’t lose after byes y’all. I’m not going to factor in the Yahoo! report because I don’t give a shit about the Yahoo! report and neither does Saban or the current players who aren’t in the Yahoo! Report (TYLER BRAY GOT PAID THOUGH AND I LIKE THAT). If you need a TAMU point of view, read this entire preview. It is glorious. Good Bull Hunting is fantastic.
Iowa State +2.5 vs Iowa
6:00 BTN
I have no idea why Iowa is favored in this game. Iowa State lost to an FCS team, but its a rivalry game at home and Iowa stinks.
AGREE (Alternate). A team playing Iowa is getting points. At home. In a rivalry game. This one is always close and ISU has shocked the Hawkeyes in the past. Thank God I don’t have to watch this. I will be checking the score and flipping to it occasionally. Oh…Iowa State will be wearing throwbacks for this game (see above). TAKE THE ‘CLONES. How in the hell did I just break down the ‘Clones vs the ‘Eyes?? I’m terrible. (I am taking this game off because I don’t want to care about it during the end of Bama-TAMU and the start of the Ohio State game. Sorry ‘Clones.)

25Ole Miss +4.5 at Texas
8:00 Longhorn Network
Young talent a lot of times is silly enough to think they can win these types of games. Also, Texas got rid of one DC for another one who is supposedly just as bad, otherwise he would have had the DC job to begin with. I'll take the Nkemdiches and the points.
AGREE. After the debacle last week, and Ole Miss’ hot start, I figured Ole Miss would be favored. Texas is bringing in Rich Rod’s defensive coordinator who gave up huge amount of yards and points to spread teams, in the Big Ten, after practicing against the spread every day against his own offense. Texas also fired a coach two games in. BYU rolled up 500 yards on the ground on them, what the hell is a bunch of 4 and 5 stars at Ole Miss going to do?! With a new coach who sucks against the spread. Bandaid on Theisman, Texas. Bandaid on Theisman.
Rob’s other picks:
TSUN -37 at Akron
12:00 BTN
Akron may be the worst FBS team in the country. They can't make this spread high enough.
I will stay away due to Akron not being as bad as last year (it's impossible to as bad as Akron was last year) and Michigan, coming off a huge win, at noon, this could be the typical sleep-walk game (aka every non-conf noon MAC Tressel game ever). Also, the favored team quarterback's number is number 98. For the rest of the season. For real. For the rest of the season. Every Saturday. 98. QB. Hut hut hike.
Maryland -7 at UConn
7:30 ESPN3
This one is based solely on UConn being terrible. Stefon Diggs should run wild.
Maryland isn't as bad as they were last year, and Diggs is legit. However, you couldn't pay me to watch this game or put it up on the computer next to the Ohio State game. I love college football but this is a buttfumblederp of a game. The only thing that could make this game worse is if UCONN had a cartoon dogface on the front of their helmet as they lose every play/possession/quarter/half...oh wait...
My other picks:
2Oregon -28 vs Tennessee
3:30 ABC
No reason why I don’t take Oregon to cover until they don’t. I wish Baylor was playing this week, damnit. Also, TYLER BRAY GOT PAID AND I LIKE THAT.
Oregon will probably drop fiddy in this game. I just didn't know enough about Tennessee to tell whether they could score three-plus touchdowns of their own. Wait, is this game in Oregon??? DAMNIT!!!!!!!!! Yeah, this is probably a good bet.
4Ohio State at Cal OFF
7:00 FOX
This game is off because of Braxton’s head and or knee. I’m scared as hell for this game. Cal lost to Northwestern by two touchdowns after giving up two interceptions returned for touchdowns. With a new coach who gives no f*ck and a freshmen qb that is meant for his system and can sling it, this one can be close and if the Buckeyes think they can just roll into Berkley, they have another thing coming. I hope this isn’t close, but do not be surprised if it’s 28-24 in the 4th as Kenny G is trying to not give the ball back to Sonny Dykes’ crew…FWIW, with Brax I have the line at -20/24ish and without, I have it –14/17ish…take Cal if you can.
There may not be a better name for a college football coach than Sonny Dykes. I also think this game will be as close as our defensive front four allows it to be. Get pressure and we should be fine. Don't and we'll probably fall in the polls again even with a win. I think even if Braxton CAN go, he shouldn't. Let Kenny G rock this week, get the W, give Braxton next week against FAMU as a warm-up before 'Sconsin comes to town.
17Northwestern -31 vs Western Michigan
9:00 BTN
No reason why I don’t take Northwestern to cover until they don’t. Showed me a lot last week even as Syracuse was coming back like every team did last year versus the Wildcats, they kept their foot on the pedal instead of just trying to hang on. That’s a huge step, and WMU is pretty bad. October 5th when Buckeye Nation rolls into Chicago is getting bigger with every Wildcat win.
Somehow Northwestern is managing to play two quarterbacks and not have any chemistry issues. Not sure how long this lasts, but this week shouldn't be an issue either.
20Wisconsin +5.5 at Arizona State
10:30 ESPN
This is the Badgers’ new coach’s first true test, and again, I thought Wisconsin would be favored. Arizona State has some hype and even put 60 or 70 on Navy in their Bowl game last year, but with Wisconsin’s continued ground and pound offense, this game looks to be close throughout. I’m looking at 3 either way and anything under 3 I’m taking. GO B1G!
Neither of these teams has allowed a point yet this year, although those games were against Westerville North, DeSales, and Groveport Madison. Should be fun to watch, although by watch, I mean be passed out by halftime. But the highlights oughta be great.
Peyton Manning's bionic neck made me look rather silly with last Thursday's pick. This will be the second straight week I pick against one of the top two quarterbacks of this generation, and probably the second straight week of looking like an ass.

NYJ +13 @ New England
8:25 NFL Network
The Pats struggled to score points last week throwing to Danny Amendola and a bunch of guys I've never heard of. They won't even have Amendola this week. Shane Vereen is also out, along with Steven Ridley not being able to hold on to the ball since Bernard Pollard left him running hurdles this past playoffs Take the points. Now that I've said that, watch them score 3 defensive touchdowns. Vegas is some kind of sorcerer.

$$ LOUIS -14
UCLA + 4.5
MICH -37
TAMU +7.5
ISU + 2.5
UMD -7
MISS +4.5
RTD: 10-4
MG: 1-1
LW: 5-2
L2Ws: 10-4

$$ LOUIS -14
UCLA + 4.5
BAMA -7.5
ORE -28
MISS +4.5
WIS +5.5
ISU +2.5 (alt)
RTD: 8-6
MG: 1-1
LW: 3-4
L2Ws: 8-6