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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

American Futbol: Red Cahd for the Big Blue

I am not a big fan of soccer.  There are many things I don't like about it.  The red and yellow cahds, the no scoring (one-nil. BLOWOUT), the counting up, the no definitive end to the match, the no use of hands, the pony tails and celebrations, the fan riots/murders, the refs making up rules and not having to explain themselves, the FIFA political crap, etc.
I know everyone in America gets caught up in the World Cup and the pubs are packed at noon until we lose to a nation that needs running water.  Then everyone gets ready for NFL preseason.

Now, I actually watch a few minutes of the World Cup Final and of course, the USA Men's National Team, and I watched the Woman's World Cup with my 6 month old.  Hell I even streamed the games live on during lunch at work.  I never played soccer (no Kwanis for me) and could never play it. 

Soccer players are some of the best athletes in the world and if our supreme athletes played like the other countries, I'm sure we could beat Ghana.  I know, I know, it's not our sport and I don't get it.  You're right.  Football, baseball, basketball and whatever we play in the Olympics.  You kick the ball and have your games decided by a giant guessing game and I'll cheer for Cover 2, RBI and Gus Johnson.

I am not as vocal about how much I hate soccer as I used to be (part growing up, part everyone knows how I feel) and will watch a few minutes when the best players and teams are playing for a championship that comes along once every four years.  Side note: Why is the World Cup more important than the Olympics? 

Anyway, the thing I hate more than anything in soccer are the fake outs.  The guys who act like they were sniped, roll around on the ground, get 5 guys to carry them out on a stretcher (it's 2011, maybe get a better system), hop up, and prance back onto the field. 

Just when I get into a game, a guy goes down and I lose my mind.  It defeats the sole purpose of playing.  I can't express how much I hate when grown men flop and act like they are fighting for life when they were not even touched.  When Brazil did it against the USA Woman's Team and everyone flipped out, that pretty much stamped for me why the I like women's game more than the men's.

Much to my dismay, this trend has been leaking into the NBA. 

Some like it and see it as heady and smart.  Some hate it and think it's very soccer.  I fall somewhere in between.  It's a strategy and it works, but I would never ever want to be called a flopper.  Whatever.

When I saw the "highlights" of the Giants-Rams Monday Night game, this is what I saw.

Two guys falling over to get the Rams to stop their no-huddle.  It was a major issue last year for Oregon and their offense.  Guys on defense, who make a play, get up and get lined up for the next play.  Then they fall over and the ref has to stop the play.  They are faking injuries to stop the tempo of the offense.  It's embarrassing and it needs to stop.  They are going to force the NFL to make a rule where if you get taken out for injury, you are out for the drive/quarter/half and/or cost your team a timeout.  Please stop this.  Karma is a bitch and will bite you with a real injury.  Maybe not, but keep soccer off the gridiron.