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Friday, September 30, 2011

Ohio or Florida? Drink and Duck: Guns in Bars OK in Ohio

But you said you didn't have a gun.
You gave me your word!

Today you are more than welcome to pack heat in your finest watering hole if you live in my great state of Ohio.

When this was first proposed, and people were all up in arms that the one thing missing from America's landscape was the ability to bring an Uzi into Out R Inn and that possibility could be a reality this year, I honestly thought it was a joke, like a skit from the Daily Show.  I mean there are more than enough fights when alcohol is involved in public places, and to bring a weapon that fires bullets and is deadly are allowed into situations that involve drunkenness is mindbogglingly insane.

Normally when you see a preposterous headline, the first thought is Florida or Ohio?  You bring guns and booze and your mind automatically goes to the People's Republic of Texas.

I had no idea that not having deadly weapons in a place with a legal liquor license was such a problem and bars seems pretty fine without guns.  Along with the 49 6 (?) other states and common sense around the world, I have no idea how this was brainstormed, conceived, shown and passed, and now today you can strap up and drink up at the same place.

You have to promise
you won't drink

However long this lasts, and I have no idea the mandatory length, I would guess shorter than "Outsourced" and/or "Whitney", we are going to look back in complete awe.  "Do you remember when Kasich PASSED THE LAW that YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BRING GUNS INTO BARS?"

If there is the exact definition of unbelievable, this is it.  For those who think this is your right, go Rambo every night.  I will be inside my home or on the banks of the Olentangy.  Holy crap Ohio, home of so many presidents.  Home of so many idiots.  We now have point serve on Florida.  Your move.

Do you have a gun?
No? Ok.

Ok so after I write this, I see that you can bring your gun into public areas but you are not allowed to have one drop of alcohol.  If you do, it is a fifth-degree felony that can carry up to a year in jail and a $5,000 fine.  If you murder someone, you get life, so there's that. 

The experts say it's hard to enforce, because, the experts worry, that people who would bring a loaded gun into a bar may lie about not drinking.  Real possibility: If you ask them about it, they may get mad and, well, calling a drunk person a liar with a loaded gun, could pose a few problems.

The defenders say that people have guns in bars anyway, and now it "levels the playing field" and makes it into law or something.  GUNS IN BARS?  WE ARE NOW PROTECTED!

Not only are you not allowed to drink, but the weapon HAS to be concealed, so if you are drinking and holding a gun, nobody will know because it has to be concealed.  A guy from the Dispatch article said, "IF I WANT TO DRINK A BUD LIGHT, I'M NOT GOING TO CARRY MY WEAPON.  IF I WANT TO PROTECT MY FAMILY, I'LL DRINK A COKE."  So what if you're drinking and someone attacks your wife cousin and you are packing heat?  There will be no problems until someone who has been drinking shoots someone because they are allowed to have a gun in the bar.  I can't imagine ALLOWING GUNS into a place WHERE PEOPLE ONLY GO TO DRINK could cause problems.

Basically you can drink but can't have a gun.  If you have a gun, it has to be hidden and you are not allowed to drink.  The rule is enforced by the honor code.  So in addition to showing your ID, the bartender has to believe you when you say, "No I do not have a loaded gun on me.  Another shot of Jack please."  How will you know when someone has been drinking and has a loaded gun aka untruthful?  When someone gets shot and/or killed, probably an innocent bystander.

"Damn, I guess he was lying when he was drunk and said he didn't have a gun."
"Oh, how did you figure that out?  Did he show you?  Did he drop it?"
"I figured it out when he shot someone."
"Oh, that sucks.  I hope no one else lies."
"Yeah me too."

Are people going to start accidentally dropping guns in the toilet? On the floor? Has a gun ever gone off after some one dropped it not on purpose?  This law is fantastic.  The real beneficiaries? The hospital and bullet makers.

I don't want to go political here because I don't know anything and I hate politicians and blah blah blah, but Gov. John Kasich said he wanted to bring sweeping changes to Ohio.  He was then elected by the people.  So far, he has ignited the SB5 controversy and now this bill, that he signed into law in June, is in effect. 

Now go drink and don't bring a weapon, and if you are looking to protect yourself against the drunks, then order a water and keep your head on a swivel. 

If you know people cannot mix vehicles and booze, I'm sure they can handle guns and booze.

Oh and you better not be wearing anything that's not Ohio State/Blue Jackets/Browns/Cavs/Indians/Reds/Bengals #takeawalk

Here is the dispatch article.  Pray for us.